NOTE: this isn't meant to offend anyone, it's just my opinion/commentary during the movie. Also, this is like Wikipedia, it will have spoilers (learned my lesson when I was reading about a book...D:) So read on with your own discretion.
So we left off when Percy and his gang had just arrived at Aunty Em's Gnome Emporium. Of course, they had to have the song that is highlighted in Luke's last line "Highway to Hell". Anyway, they get there and find rats (ew!) and gold drachmas! They should take more than a handful, I know I would...Anyway, the gang split up and search for the pearl. Cliche much?
It's so peaceful and stuff and OMKWTFRICKJUSTHAPPENED? Stupid lady jumping out of nowhere screaming "AAAAAAAHHHHH SHE'S COMING" to Annabeth. Like seriously? You just HAD to give me a heart attack there? Jerks.
I love how they kept Grover's line...
"Haha, it looks like Uncle Ferdinand!"
It is darling, you might wanna run and then warn Percy and both of you collide and fall on your butts and then show obvious concern for Annabeth. Oh what do you know, they did.
You know what, I feel really bad for Medusa. Sure, she's evil, but she's so lonely! It's not her fault that she got cursed...well, it sort of is but whatever. I like her ability though. And I like her eyes, they're so prettty~!
That mortal lady is an idiot. When Annabeth keeps her eyes closed, you should too. But she doesn't and Annabeth is stuck there. Fantastic. Good thing that Percy is smart and uses his iTouch to save the day! What a wonderous thing that electronic device does. Not only does it act as a mirror, it can surf the web using Wi-Fi in practically anywhere! Yay iTouch!
Awkward line: "I used to date your daddy." Um, that's cool? And don't worry Medusa, Percy's eyes aren't as blue as you apparently thought. Sorry about that.
I really hated the part where they showed the head completely separated from the body. Like, ew! That's just nasty...and where's all the random goo that usually comes with that package?
Grover almost kills everyone with his sleep-driving. And of course, they pull over at a hotel with a swimming pool at it. Of course, it just had to be outside too. And they just had to have the SAME awkward scene for the fangirlies. And they had to use Annabeth as the one on the surface offering the towel. Seriously? They're not that close yet! IT TAKES TIME!!!
Annabeth dear, can you please show more emotion towards the magical water healing? I mean, that was the kind of expression you use when someone's like "OMGLOOKATMYPETROCK!" and you're just like "Mmhm, I see it...she's so weird..." At least she isn't the only one who hears voices in her head!
Why is Percy's stepfather's name Gabe Ugliano? I mean, is that why he's so mean? 'Cause he was abused as a child? Seriously, WHO HAS A NAME LIKE THAT? That's so subtle that he's the "bad guy". Geeeeeeeez.
I have to admit, the plan to stay after the place closes is ingenius. Too bad they didn't count for the EXTRA (?) cleaning people. Weren't they gone for an hour or so by now? And Annabeth just had to shoot them...(Grover: "Don't shoot them! They're working class Americans!") with sleeping arrows from a crossbow. I never knew she was THAT good with a bow and arrow!
No "Maia" for the shoes again, why? That's the cool part! And Grover was supposed to....nevermind, I give up. Percy, get the dang pearl already and get down and PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET just in case, oh I don't know, a Hydra comes from nowhere and tries to kill you? Just a hunch. I'm also going to skip this part since it's just full of BS. Why? It simply didn't exist in the book!
Ah, Vegas. I love the wedding right in front of the sign, that kind of sums the city up quite good. And WHY are there people going in and out of the Lotus Casino and Hotel? And it's not even supposed to be a casino! And WHY (after the gang get high off of meringue lotus flowers) are they gambling? They are underage dang it! That's a bad message!
I love the security guard. "Percy Jackson is awake." LOL. And are "Lotus Eaters" a real thing in Greek Mythology? Oh, why yes, yes they are! Isn't that weird? Oh, and at least they had the whole "We stayed for five days in there! We only have one day left" thing.
Apparently the Underworld is in Hollywood. Let's all sit back and chuckle at that.........now let's continue. The entrance is NOT A BUSINESS BUILDING but a cave that magically opens when you say some weird phrase (I forgot to write it down, darn). BS man. I liked that lobby guy. At least the ferry person redeems himself...
"Die, then come back."
Anyway, he ferries them after being bribed with gold drachmas and they go on the boat on the River Styx (at least, I'm guessing it's the river...). I hate how dark it is in the freaking cave and I can't see anything but the random flames and WOAH they're in mid-air! Now is it really the river still? Hmm...it seems like it with all of the shattered dreams but still...wasn't it an actual river with an actual bank and just littered with the dreams? But I digress...
And it goes really quiet again and then BAM the dogs scare the bejeepers out of me. And then Persephone comes and hits on Grover? WHAT? But she redeems herself, sort of...
"Or what? What will you do? I'm already in Hell!"
And is that a red guitar by Hades' lounge chair? And a little table? And does he want a hug or something or is he just stretching his arms out from side to side? (I think it's the former, but I digress...) I still love Grover though...
"Let's stick with the Mcjagger thing, it works for you!"
I love Hades' voice by the way. His eyes aren't as awesome as his voice. :)
Woah, Annabeth finally shows her bronze knife? What? WHAT? No way! About time! And WOAH, the bolt was supposed to be in his backpack that Ares gave him....
WHERE THE FRICK IS ARES? Is Ares THAT unimportant? Geez...
Of course there's a kiss scene, good thing it was followed by a BAM TAKE THAT SUCKER scene! Yeah Persephone! And....wait. How did Riptide (I really hope it's still called that, but they haven't even mentioned the name ONCE in the freaking movie) change into a pen? By clicking it? 'Cause that might hurt a bit. Anyway, Grover ends up staying behind? WHAT? You know what, I'm gonna fast forward and call this scene BS.
People, please stop staring and standing and talking about the building and that you feel is BS that Olympus isn't there because soon....yup, Evil!Luke is here. GIVE THE BOLT TO ANNABETH IDI-seriously, NO ONE listens to me in this stupid movie. At least Annabeth finally is using her knife more! Yay!
Wait, no Luke, you're working for...WHERE THE FRICK IS KRONOS? Did they just cut out a major plot point? Now how are they going to make a sequel?
I am really against the whole Utility closet and the secret code that Percy's mom knows (?) and a magical elevator. There's a person downstairs that is supposed to give you a keycard to use in the elevator to go to the top. Dur.
WOAH. Athena...aren't you in CSI:NY? And what is up with that fake accent? It sounds so...awkward. At least you don't have an awkward convo with your son who is 20x smaller than you...*cough* Poseidon and Percy *cough* AND WHY IS PERCY SUCH A JERK? Geez.
Really, that's what I wrote. "PERCY YOU ARE A JERK!!!" and "OMG, ending speech=boring. LAME." and "HUG DANG IT!"
Finally, back at camp. Another "Percy, this is where you belong." But wait, he's only staying for the summer, right? RIGHT? And did he have to wear an outfit that's completely and utterly BLUE? Even his backpack, like wtf?
I wish they kept Mr. D...He was one of my favorites!!!